Suzanne For Now
by Ate Monay
Summary: DISCONTINUED
1. Hoping

Suzanne For Now

Chapter 1: Hoping

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters except my own original ones. Everything else belongs to S.E. Hinton.

It was a scorching hot day in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was at DX Gas Station, where I work full time with Steve, who works part-time only. In the bathroom, I let the cold water run and put my hands cupped underneath to catch the water. When they accumulated enough water, I throw it at my face, hoping to cool myself down, but instead, my shirt just gets wetter, and the water seems to evaporate as soon as it touches my face. In short, the water is no help at all.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror; sweat is collecting above my eyebrows and at the nape of my neck, too. Some of the sweat trickles down my neck and settles into my shirt. I bet I stink right about now, and I could really use a shower. But first, I've got to get through the day.

I used to love scorching hot days. I never knew the real reason why, but I suppose no one ever really has a reason for liking a certain type of weather. But ever since that faithful day two years ago, I've grown to dread them. That was the day Sandy left me.

It was on a scorching hot day like this one that we met; I was working at the station, like I am now, and Steve swung by with his girl Evie. He had cold sodas in his hands, and behind Evie tagged a girl with hair like sunshine and eyes like china. She had a soft smile, and her skirt was decent length, well at least for a Greaser girl. She was beautiful.

By now, I was probably smiling like a dork. Steve came over and handed me one of the sodas and started talking to me about the detention he got that day for running in the halls, without a clue that I wasn't even listening to him. The whole time, I was staring at that girl.

When she noticed I was staring at her, she smiled flirtatiously and waved. Evie noticed her and me staring at each other and finally got the message that she ought to introduce her to me. She took the girls hand and ragged her over to where Steve and I were.

"Soda," Evie began pushing the blonde girl in front of me, close enough that we were eye-to-eye. "This is my friend, Sandy. Sandy, this is Sodapop Curtis, Steve's friend."

"Hello," I said.

"Nice to meet you, Sodapop," she said. She had a voice like a bell. "Did your mother give you that name?"

"Actually, my dad. It's a pretty interesting story actually."

"Really? Well, I'd love to hear it."

"Ok, then."

And that's how it began. Sandy and I had a long conversation that day; we talked about various things. She told me that her family came from Florida, and I told her about Darry and Pony. She told me that she and Evie hung around rodeos a lot, and I told her that I was in the saddle-bronc event. Evie and Steve got a kick out of the two of us; they just sat together at a distance and watched us talking and connecting like we were old friends even though we'd just met. There was just an immediate connection between me and Sandy. At the end of that day, we had exchanged phone numbers, and I called her that night to make sure she hadn't given me a fake number. She didn't.

From that day on, Sandy and I were inseparable. She spent every waking moment together. We became something of an item among the East side. We went on dates regularly, and proclaimed our undying love to each other. Cheesy as it sounds, we really were in love. We were going about a year strong, and we were still in love, but I knew that I wanted something more for Sandy, something more complete and fulfilling. It wasn't until a few years back when I found out what I wanted for me and Sandy; I wanted to marry her.

I was in love with Sandy, and I'm afraid I may never be able to stop loving her. That makes what she did all the more painful. But no matter how painful it was, I still want her back. I want to see her and hold her and talk things out. She's left me hanging on a cliff.

Small traces of tears began to form on my eyes, and I quickly brushed them away, refusing to cry, at least not while Steve was still here. He'd be all over me if he saw me crying. I replaced my cap on my head and prepared to head back into the stifling heat. I opened the door and the heat hit me like a speeding bus. The sweat I had just wiped away made reappearance.

Steve was wiping the windshield of an old '60 Falcon. It was aqua blue, or at least it should have been without all the rust and dirt and old paint. It was an ugly car to say the least. Steve didn't care though; he lived for fixing machinery, and he had a special fondness for cars, no matter how old or ugly they were.

"Hey, Soda," Steve said. "Where've you been? You were supposed to fill up the tank. The man asked for full service."

"I'm workin' on it," I muttered as I grabbed the valve and began pumping gas into the old automobile. "Besides, it doesn't even look like you need all this help anyway. Looks like you did a lot of the work yourself." Steve laughed.

"Got your draft notice yet?" Steve asked me. With the war waging in Vietnam and the amount of boys getting their draft notice, it was hard to avoid the subject. Steve hadn't gotten his either, or at least up to date, but we were both getting pretty nervous.

"Not yet," I answered, but I knew it would be coming soon.

"Me neither," he said, wiping his brow. "But I don't think it would _too_ bad, right?"

"Wars are ugly affairs," I said. "But I guess it won't be that bad if we get sent. There are a lot of boys getting drafted so what are the chances we'll even have to fight that hard anyway? Besides, isn't it sort of like our _duty_ to serve our country in war?"

"Yeah, sure," said Steve, wiping down one of the windows. "But what if we do get drafted? What about Pony and Darry? And Evie?"

"What about them?"

"Remember when I got hauled into the cooler?"

I remembered. "Evie cried herself to sleep until you got out."

"Exactly," Steve said sadly.

"Right," I said. "But don't worry, I think you've got some time until that letter comes in the mail. Just…try to spend quality time with her, I guess."

"Man," Steve said again, this time with a little more vigor. "What are we talking about? This is too much drama for me. Just get back to work." He threw a wet sponge at me, and it hit my shirt, leaving a mark. He laughed and so did I. I threw the sponge back at him, and when it missed him, I punched his shoulder. We were messing around now, and when the man came back to check on his car, we stifled the laughter and pretended to work some more.

A gust of hot air began to blow and I took off my hat and started fanning myself, gasping for air. The man had taken his car and drove off once the service was finished, and now I was just searching for a shady place to sit. I began looking around, and I noticed for the first time that there were a few new shops in town.

There was a new barber shop at the corner of the street. It had a big picture of scissors on top and in cursive lettering it said "The Cutting Edge". There were also a lot of new restaurants: "Pepe's Italian Bistro", "Tom's Pizzeria", "Hannah's Diner", "Rosebud Diner", and all that good stuff.

I saw a couple kids, a few of them I used to know, and now they were all grown up. I saw an old man who used to live near us, but moved a little further downtown. I knew for a fact that he took a morning walk everyday, rain or shine, hot or cold. There was a boy that I remembered from when I was still in school. He had his girl around his arm, a petite brunette with crazy curls and big teeth. But one walking pedestrian caught my eye.

It was a tall slender girl with hair like sunshine and eyes like china. I got up to my feet on impulse and followed her with my eyes, while Steve asked me if anything was wrong. I didn't answer. All I knew was that Sandy had come back to me.

I got up form where I sat near the curb, and started jogging toward her. From excitement, the jog soon turned into a sprint, and I began yelling out her name.

"Sandy! SANDY!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Sandy! Sandy!"

Everyone walking by turned and looked at me, the crazy boy chasing his ex-girlfriend whom he still has feelings for, and no doubt they all thought I was insane. But that didn't matter to me right now.

I yelled out for her again, and this time she turned around and I saw that angelic face that I hadn't seen in so long. I yelled her name again, but her face just looked confused and scared. When she began figure out that I was chasing her, her walk turned into a run, too.

She was a fast runner, faster than I remember her being. She ran down the street, and I followed her. Why was she running from me?

"Sandy! Wait! I need to talk to you!" I yelled. "Please! Wait! Sandy!"

She ducked out of the way of people that were passing by. The sun began to get hotter and hotter as I ran and wasted my energy, but still I didn't stop. Why wasn't she stopping? Why wouldn't she wait for me? I waited so long to finally get to talk to her and here she finally is and she runs from me. Is it possible she feels as bad as I do?

She ducked into one of the diners and I follow her inside. When I get in, I see her hiding behind a tall man, maybe middle aged or older. As I try to go up to her, I'm suddenly yanked backward hard from the arm. I fell to the floor and towering over me are two tall muscular men. I look around, and it's obvious that I've caused some sort of commotion. The men pull me up to my feet and hold my wrists behind my back. I look at the man Sandy is hiding behind. He is looking right at me, but he looks neither angry nor sacred. Instead, he just looks concerned.

"Susie," he says to Sandy. "Do you know this boy?"

Susie? What happened to Sandy. I look at her waiting to hear her answer, and I get a good look at her, get a good look at her eyes, and they are not Sandy's eyes. Sandy's eyes were china blue, while this girl, Susie's eyes seem to have more of a royal blue shade, and there was something cat-like about them.

"I have no idea who he is, Daddy," she answers. Her voice is different, too. The man, her father, looks back at me, this time with a new seriousness in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I can't help you, son," he says. "But I think you need to get out of her right now. Take him away, boys." The two men drag me over to the door while I stare at Susie, confused and heartbroken at the same time. She's not Sandy.

Monay: So? Good? Bad? Please Review!


	2. Thinking

Suzanne For Now

Chapter 2: Thinking

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except for my own original characters.

The big men drag me over to the door and dump me on the sidewalk, and I was not handled gently, let me tell you. I got up and dusted myself off, and I see that I've sweat almost clear through my shirt. I'm suddenly aware again of the hot sun beating down, and right then and there, my first goal was to find some shade.

I decide to walk, since I had wasted my energy chasing after a girl whom I though was Sandy, only to find out that I had been chasing some random girl. The first feeling that hit me on my walk to back to the DX was humiliation, and the second one was anger, and then despair. It's a funny thing how human emotions can change so fast.

I was also suddenly aware of the long distance I had run. From where I was now it looked like I had nearly three blocks, and although it only seemed like a short time to run, it would take forever to walk back. I guess it was sort of like the sun giving the consequence I deserved for holding on to Sandy when it seemed clear that she was gone forever.

It wasn't entirely my fault, was it? It was honest mistake! That girl just really looked like Sandy and you can't blame someone for mistaking someone for someone else, right? It happens all the time. Of course, chasing someone whom you've mistaken for someone else isn't normal and of course she'd get scared, but all's fair in love and war.

I finally got back to the DX station after what seemed like an eternity of walking in the blistering heat, and my cheeks were a nasty shade of red and I was pretty sure that I had a burn somewhere on my body. Steve was working on a new car, the driver was still inside while Steve was giving him the full service. He looked up when he saw me, my head turned down and my hands stuffed in my pockets, my shirt sweat clean through.

"Where've you been?" he asked me, yelling almost.

"Exercising," I said a sort of humorous excuse, but Steve wasn't laughing.

"Nice," he said as he turned the squeegee over to the sponge side and began sponging the windshield. "I'm here working my ass off while you decide to take some time off for a nice jog. You've sweat clean through your shirt, in case haven't noticed."

"Yeah," I said, lifting the wet part of my shirt off my skin. "I noticed."

"What were you doing? For real, I mean," he asked as he put the squeegee back into the bucket of water and started filling up the tank.

"Thought I saw Sandy," I said with a shrug and reaching for a towel. Steve put the valve back into place and dropped his shoulders and raised his eyebrows.

"Still?" he said with complete disbelief. I shot him a questioning look.

"What do you mean?" I said. He rolled his eyebrows, went to the window to collect the money and waited until the man drove off until he faced me again.

"It's been a year," he began. "You've got to get over her, man. She's long gone. It's not healthy to hold on like this. You'll eventually get weighed down and it'll keep you from moving on."

I nodded as I unbuttoned my DX shirt and started airing it out.

"I mean, don't you want to leave this place?" he asked me. I looked at him. He was serious. "Don't you want to get out of here? Get out of Tulsa, I mean and go somewhere else? Be from somewhere else?"

I lingered on it for a minute. All the boys in our gang seemed o be stuck in Tulsa, like an elephant in quicksand or like a balloon tied to something heavy. They all talked and dreamed about leaving and going somewhere else where life is being lived.

Steve wanted to just get to somewhere not Tulsa, Two-Bit wanted to see the world, Pony wanted just stared into the distance and thought about God-knows-what, and Darry. He had it worst of all. His head was always swimming with visions of what he could have accomplished had he only finished college. From our gang, it seemed I was the only one content with living life in Tulsa.

Tulsa was home. I was born here and I was counting on dying here, too. Tulsa meant the gang, and Mickey Mouse, Johnny and Dally, and Sandy. I could never see myself leaving Tulsa. It was just that lack of imagination that kept from going anywhere. I'm a high school drop-out, an outsider, a Greaser, and it seemed like that's all I would ever be.

"Maybe," Steve said, talking again. "You should look for another girl?"

"What?" I said with disbelief as I pulled the shirt back on.

"Well," he scratched his head. "It's been a long time and I think you could really use seeing a different girl. It's unhealthy to hang on to Sandy; it'll do you some good to get your mind off of her.

"Steve, I—" I began but Steve put his hand up and stopped me mid-sentence.

"Just try it once, if it doesn't work out, I won't force you and you can go back to your sad miserable way of life and feeling sorry for yourself. You're my pal and I'm not going to sit around and watch you do absolutely nothing with your life."

I sighed deeply. I wasn't exactly ready to take on what Steve was suggesting, but he genuinely cared about me so I guess I could do it to make him happy.

"A'right," I said. "I'll do it."

"Good," Steve said. He checked his watch and whistled. "My shift's ending. Time flies by when you're having fun. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," I said. I slapped his back as he gathered his things and started walking off toward a diner. He had said something about meeting Evie there after his shift, so I suppose that's where he was going.

Another car drove in, and I got ready to do whatever the heck the customer would want me to do. Inside were a few girls; the giggly kind who wore too much make-up and batted their eyelids at me. I never paid too much attention to girl customers in my years of working at the DX, mostly because at the time I was hooked on Sandy, and I probably still am.

I started thinking about where to find a girl I could actually stand to be with, let alone date. I hadn't dated much since Sandy left, and it was unfortunately apparent that I might be a little rusty. I started making a mental list of girls I knew that could be possible candidates as I pumped gas into the car. There was Steve's cousin, but she doesn't live in town. There was also two-Bit's kid sister, but chances are she's too young for me and it's an unwritten rule that you don't date your friends' little sisters. There was also Angela Shepherd, but she had an axe-murder of a husband who I knew could shred me to pieces as easily as a pair of scissors of slice a sheet of paper.

Then there was that one girl that Two-Bit had once dated, but she was really tall and talked way too loud. It just seemed like there weren't any girls in Tulsa who could merit my attention. And it was rare for Tulsa to get new female residents, and babies don't count.

I sighed deeply as I collected the payment and they drove off. Still no eligible girl. I had named so many but none of them drew my eye. But then again, there was also that girl he had chased to the diner, but—

I lingered on that thought for a moment. She wasn't bad looking, but then again, I probably only thought that because she looked like Sandy. She looked like Sandy, and if I did date her, I'd probably be upset if she didn't act like Sandy either. It seemed like a good idea at first, but the more I thought about it, the idea began to worsen, until I finally just stopped thinking.

To Be Continued…

Monay: Okay, here's the second chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed the first one.


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